The saddest day of my life and my greatest hope…

Lori and Chicken

Tomorrow, January 4th, would be my lifelong best friend’s 42nd birthday. I write would be because sadly she was killed by a drunk driver almost 6 years ago, so she’s not here to celebrate with us. She was killed by a man who served prison time for previous drunk driving offenses. Repeat drunk driver. What if sentences were stricter and her killer was still in jail? He wouldn’t have been able to kill her. It haunts me still.

Although the shock and intense pain of losing Shannon has settled into a persistent ache instead of the life-stopping gash, my resolve to see drunk-driving end hasn’t faded a bit. It’s one of the most avoidable tragedies known to mankind, but still it persists. It’s maddening. The problem of drunk driving seems too easy to solve. Maybe I’m too simplistic of a thinker to figure out why it keeps happening at the rate it does, but heck, I wonder how many people would drive drunk if the fine was $10,000. What if.

I’ve written about my grief about her death in previous posts (entitled Grief is a funny thing), so I’m not going to write about it here.

This post is about honoring my friend and share the hope I share with her.

When I wake up tomorrow morning and my family celebrates Shannon’s birthday, I’ll be drawn to the words of Jesus. I believe He’s the only complete truth teller there ever was (is); everyone else might have some truth, but they don’t have it all. And I can’t place my hope on incomplete information.

Hope in Jesus is NOT a wish. It’s not a nail-biting Hail Mary throw we toss out into the ‘Universe’ with eyes closed and fingers crossed. It isn’t a gamble, a desperate plea for a magical outcome, and it’s not personal opinion. We might not know the moment we will die. But Jesus tells us how our story is going to end if we follow Him.

May you have the assurance of where you’re going after you die. I can’t think of anything more pressing to consider. I pray you put all your faith in Jesus.

This is the poem I read at Shannon’s funeral. I wrote the day after she died as I bawled my eyes out in the closet while packing to fly to Southern California for her service. To give you a little background information to help you understand the poem, Shannon battled a terrible addiction until she entered recovery at age 27. Few people thought she was recoverable after the damage she’d done to herself since her teen years. But through the grace of God, she grabbed hold of sobriety and lived a full life’s worth of goodness in the 10 years she had left.
She lives on as one of the most inspirational people I’ve ever met.

——————————————————————————————————

Shannon could walk into a room of 20 strangers
And leave with 20 new friends,
Her laughter was pure joy in sound
More beautiful than Beethoven.

Her love for adventure unceasing
And child-like wonder unfaded,
She respected every living being
With the value from which is was created

Shannon showed us how to live
With a completely open heart,
She knew that no one is beyond God’s reach
And each day brings a brand new start.

She made this world a better place
And brought cheer to the bleak,
She always looked for the common ground
With everyone she’d meet

We watched her struggle out of her cocoon
And become this graceful butterfly,
She surprised us all and emerged unscathed
And went on to lead the most beautiful life

Her life is a testimony
Of what love and hope can do,
When you never give up, refuse to quit
And let God do what only God can do

So, cry if you must and shout if you need
And drink from the cup of grief,
But rest in her love, let her laughter lift you up
For a time will come for you, too, to break free

Shannon, I’ll love you forever
My sister and dearest friend,
My only comfort during this terrible pain
Is knowing I’ll see you again

And when it’s my time to join you
I ask God to do one thing for me,
To let your laughter be the first thing I hear
And your smile the first thing I see.

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About Lori Lara

I'm 7 years into recovery from PTSD, major depression, and addiction. Even though I've experienced miraculous spiritual healing in my life, I sometimes have to fight my way through new layers of grief and unanswered questions that continue to challenge me. I've come to realize recovery as a life-long journey, and I believe it's worth every frustrated scream and painful tear we endure to find the deeper purposes of life and meaningful relationship with God. It's time well spent to dig for the truth, freedom, and love we were created to enjoy. Love is the only answer to heal our spiritual wounds. Nothing breaks my heart more than hearing stories of people who struggle silently and think they're alone; the truth is we are never alone. My goal is to remain committed to my own recovery while taking with me as many people as I can. I'm inspired by people who share similar stories of recovery and their never-ending and perseverant quest for freedom and healing. I'd love to hear your story and share this journey together... www.lorilara.com
This entry was posted in addiction, blog, brain cancer, christianity, depression, friendship, grief work, healing, hope, inspiration, love, recovery, spiritual healing, trauma. Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to The saddest day of my life and my greatest hope…

  1. Amy J says:

    What a beautiful poem Lori! This is a wonderful tribute to a very special person. May we consider the magnitude of a careless decision (driving drunk). As you said, this is a completely avoidable tragedy.

  2. cherylz1961 says:

    So sorry for this loss Ms Cloud. Remember, you will see her again….. but I know what it is like to miss a brother long dead. The wait is hard to endure.

  3. Lizette says:

    Lori, I can’t imagine getting this news about my most cherished friend. It is positively crushing….what a waste. I love how you put your pain into words to comfort others who loved her so. You have a gift, you are a blessing to this world. Thank you for sharing ~

  4. What a lovely tribute to a beautiful friend! I’m sure she is looking forward to seeing you too.

    Blessings ~ Wendy

  5. Diane says:

    Blessings and prayers to you as you grieve again. Thank you for sharing your faith through pain, that so blesses others.

    Diane

  6. This was wonderful to read, Jumpingonclouds. Sharing the hope that isn’t a wish,
    Maria

  7. Simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing your love and hope.

  8. Denise Hisey says:

    Lori, what an amazing and loving poem you wrote for your beautiful friend.
    You and Shannon must have had an incredible bond.
    I’m sorry you lost such a great friend, yet I thank you for sharing a bit of Shannon with us.

  9. This is indeed a loving tribute to a beautiful person and it looks as if many people were blessed because of who she still is. I am sorry for your loss and hope that you will always be comforted by the love you two shared. Patty

  10. Wow! Amazing poem! If a drunk driver killed my loved one, I’m not sure how long it would take me to heal…..or forgive. Thank you for sharing!

  11. Gospel Restoration says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart about this very personal tragedy.
    The poem and your message are a real tribute.

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